UPDATE on "Neil & Kai's Adventure's In Love"

Hey all you LetsBeVainers!

Just in case you missed out, I thought I'd show you all my boyfriend's amazingly genius opening number.



Isn't he just the most adorable thing you've ever seen? Wonderful voice, sexy stare and a lung capacity that puts Whitney to shame! (I'm prepared for the backlash for THAT comment, so bring it on, bitches!)

I love him. I really, really do love him, even though he didn't win. But it's okay, because when we're together, he's always the winner :)

My boyfriend, Neil.

Hey LetsBeVainers!
Kaila W. Montanna here with a very special edition of "Neil & Kai's Adventures in Love," because it's the first!

Now I am not sure if you are all aware, but if not, I would like to set the record straight and say yes, it is true: I am dating Neil Patrick Harris.

I was just as surprised as all of you when he announced publicly at the Emmy's that we are indeed dating, and David Burka is of course a wonderful and sweet man--but lets face it, no one can bottom better than I.

Neil courted me for months after we met at Ellen's 50th some time ago, but after my horrible heart break with Wentworth, I just couldn't bring myself to date another prime-time actor. But Neil just wouldn't give up. And so, after a short relapse into stupidity this past summer at trying to find a normal love life, I've come to my senses and am now extremely happy with my lover Neil. We will be celebrating our first month this next Thursday :).

My Babycakes flies up once a week to see me while I'm in school and he's filming, but we're planning on a small getaway during my reading week. He is taking me back to Paris :) I really do love him. So very much. I mean, what is there not to love about Neil? He's ironic (which is something we all try so hard to be, especially you hipsters), athletic, adorable, and a perfect 7 inches of multiple orgasm. And that over-sized forehead? I could not imagine kissing anything else while he pounds me into oblivion during some old fashioned missionary fun.

I tear up a little every time he makes a joke while he hosts. Isn't he just adorable? I am so glad that Ellen brought us together and so proud that he is hosting the Emmy's.

My little Neil.
My Neil Patrick Harris.

So please, I encourage all readers of Let's Be Vain to support my baby Neil! Watch "Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog", watch "How I Met Your Mother", and buy the "Doogie Howser MD" box sets at your local Wal-mart!

Stay tuned for more updates on "Neil & Kai's Adventure's in LOVE!"

THE BEST FUCKING THING I'VE SEEN ALL DAY

Alright folks, so I regularly visit AfterEllen and if you've read the title of this post, I was wide-eyed and frozen in place because holy crap what am i seeing right now??? more than a little pleased.



That is fucking ELLEN PAGE AND DREW BARRYMORE KISSING. Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore kissing! Kissing! Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore! Ellen! Drew!

Okay I'll stop.

There have been rumours about both of them not being exactly straight and more rumours about both of them not being exactly straight with each other and so I was a little excited. This was my mental monologue, "They're together! They're together and they're coming out to Marie Claire. Note: Buy Marie Claire. Oh shit, that means they're both off the market. Dammit. Dammitdammit. Calm down OrneryCornery, like you even had a chance. Well I can dream can't I? Yea whatever now shut up and stop staring like a creeper, that guy in the corner is looking at you weird".

So that was my reaction. And then I read the interview on Marie Claire. Apparently they are just really good friends. Bummer.

But this brings up something. I love lesbian couples. I genuinely crush on two lesbians who are clearly so in love with each other. And I'm not the only one.

It's not even just celebrities. I have two friends who I'll call A and B. A and B have been together since I've known them and they are just so goddamn cute together. They hold hands and whenever I see them I just want to envelope them in my arms and squish them like little bunnies. I of course don't do this because I understand personal space but I can't help my thoughts. What? Don't look at me like that.

So anyway where does this come from? Is it a lack of representation? All day everyday I see straight couples pass the dingo to each other and I just want to see some queer action? Why do I (and many others) go all Twilight for gay girls together?


Picture of Crazy Twilight Fans from here.

I'm homeless.

Where is home?

I've been asking myself this question alot lately. Growing up, home was my parents house and the suburban Pennsylvania town I lived. I associate all kinds of good memories with that place. Christmas, Thanksgiving, high school parties, swimming in the pool...etc. In university I got my own place with some friends and haven't been a permanent resident in my parents house since. Now I visit 3 or 4 times a year and though there is the same sense of familiarity and good memories when I'm there, I feel like a visitor in that house.

At 23, I met a guy, fell in love and moved with him to the UK. Pretty soon anywhere I went with him I was at home. Our crappy flat, his childhood house, hotels in new cities...they all had a sense of home because he was there. I was comfortable and safe.

A few years later...the big move to Canada to buy our first place. At the time I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. The cracks in the relationship that were ignored in the UK became larger now that we were "settled" and eventually we decided to move on. I'm now in my second post-break up apartment and still feel unsettled and a little lost. No family in Canada and although I have great friends...we have known each other for less than 2 years. When will that feeling of safety and comfort be back?

Where do you call home? How has that changed over the years?