"It's not a comeback, it's a return"

Let me speak up for those of us who are not impressed by zero-ability pop stars.

This past week, we have been driven crazy by respected journalists, friends, and bloggers everywhere screeching at the top of their lungs "BRITNEY IS BACK!!!!!" Have you all lost your mind? She toured in 2007, 2004, 2002, 2001, 2000 and 1999 and had singles in 2006, 2007, and 2008.

She is not BACK. She hasn't been anywhere and she doesn't have anything in terms of ability to be back with.

Tina Turner taking some time off to re-learn the music industry in order to build a solo career after leaving an abusive husband equals TINA IS BACK! Robyn being a 90's one hit wonder and climbing back to international prominence in 2008 = ROBYN IS BACK! Streisand doing her first tour in 27 years = BARBRA IS BACK. Chita Rivera in a car accident and learning how to walk again and then returning to the stage as a dancer doing cartwheels and splits = CHITA IS BACK!


It's truly sad to see someone who by even the most rapturous accounts doesn't dance full out, is carried and moved around the stage, is not singing live, utilizes video and costume changes to lessen their stage time, and does not otherwise engage the audience be praised for being "back". Not to take away from the good time anyone had, but perhaps credit the tour's director? our collective vulture-like hope of watching an onstage melt-down? the pretty colored lights? This concert tour has nothing to do with Britney. Britney herself isn't any better or worse then she was last year or the year before or 5 years ago or 10 years ago. Rewarding or praising someone for literally not doing ANYTHING reduces our critical abilities and contributes to the egocentricity of this ME Generation. If she did a 360 and suddenly became a strong singer, impressive dancer, and charming performer, I'd be the first to say good for her......but it still wouldn't mean she is back.