My day without aids...

NOT AIDS!!! Hearing aids.  Oh how you fell for it.  Thinking it was one thing, when in reality aids means something different to those with a disability.

I spent Thursday without my hearing aids on.  Which is not all that profound.  I go many days and weekends and such without them on.  Why?  I like the silence.  The world is a very loud place and it's nice to not have to hear every single thing.

What I don't usually do is go without them at work.  When you're dealing with a lot of clientele and staff all day, you kinda need to be able to hear them.

On Thursday, I forgot that I had to move my car early and so I had to quickly leave for work when the reminder came over the speaker.  I grabbed my hearing aid case, got on the elevator, checked and realized that it was empty.  I decided to just go to work and give it a go.

Surprisingly it wasn't so bad.  It was difficult, but not impossible.  Perhaps, the hearing aids have been merely a crutch that I've been holding onto.  I find that when one aid dies and I don't have a battery that it impacts my self esteem.  I don't feel quite as confident when I'm not fully hearing abled.

Recently, I've had a few meetings with members of the deaf community.  We've communicated through using an interpreter, a laptop, me simply signing out letters, lip reading and it's worked out quite well.  It's got me thinking about the world that I live in and the world that I've missed out on by not embracing deaf culture younger in life.

My current (hearing) aids are on their last legs and replacing them will cost like $4000.  I've gone one full 'normal' working day with out them, could I go a life time? 

We will be visible

On Monday August 24th at 8pm at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, my company 'a jay stewart project' presents Hard & Able: celebrating queer disability. It is by far my proudest artistic accomplishment project thus far. I had the idea about a year ago to put on a cabaret event featuring artists that identify as both queer and disabled. Why? Cuz I'm queer and disabled and wanted to meet other similar artists.

First, I did my research to see if anybody else was doing similar events. I really dislike creating something from scratch if somebody else was doing it. Research demonstrated that others HAD been doing similar events, but no longer. I applied for a grant from Community One and was the lucky recipient back in April.

This put into motion a call out to the community to locate artists that were queer and disabled. Which proved to not be so easy. I discovered that the word 'disabled' is a word that many of us choose not to subscribe to. It's you know...for those...that are really disabled. If you wear glasses, suffer from depression or have a heart murmur...that's shitty, but not enough to be disabled. WRONG-O in my books!!! That stuff all qualifies as a disability and I wanted individuals like this to be a part of the night. It's an evening for all those that exist on the disability spectrum to come together and say that a) we are visible and b) we're immensely talented!

As someone who suffers physical pain daily and wears hearing aids, you may or may not have ever classified me as disabled. Why?  Cuz my disabilities are not all that visible. I've been like this since birth and my Mom has always prided me on celebrating my differences. Who I am today is owed very much to having such a supportive individual in my life. I was brought up to acknowledge my disability, but to never let it stand in the way of accomplishing any of my goals.

I invite you to come out to Hard & Able: celebrating queer disability and support artists that identify as both queer and disabled. It's going to be an exciting evening filled with artists doing drag, spoken word, songs, skits with videos and photography too.

If you're not in Toronto, you can still be a part of the event by paying for access to the live feed. E-mail me at jay@ajaystewartproject.com for more information.  Check out the facebook event for those in the GTA

I hope that you will come and bare witness to a small step towards making each of these artists a visible part of the artistic community.

In an effort to make this event accessible, the venue is wheelchair accessible and there will be ASL interpretation provided.

Promoting Disability!

Often times, my work, academics, and art collide together perfectly. This week is no different.

I am in the process of researching an essay for my equity and human rights course. The essay is on individuals with disabilities and employment opportunities. There is a huge untapped pool of intelligent individuals who are not receiving work in some part to the attitudes of those that are in the position of hiring. Instead of looking at the positive contributions, they may immediately jump to the negative start-up impact of accommodating someone with a disability. When no such impact may exist. I've read through about 20 journal papers so far and it's going to be a great paper. :)

At work and in life, I'm often reminded that I exist with an invisible disability. New encounters with people see that the topic may come up and it always seems to surprise them at first. Which is odd, cuz why can't somebody be like me and be hearing impaired? They try to find the hearing aids and it's like a game of 'where are they?' They sit in my ear canal, not exactly a place that people spend hours staring at. I'd hope that my eyes would lure them in, not a hole in the side of my head. :P

I'm producing a cabaret at Buddies in Bad Times on Monday August 24th featuring only artists that identify as queer and disabled. Not just queers, not just disabled, not allies. I think it's important that minorities within minorities be recognized. Especially a grouping that may be forgotten or over looked. The most interesting thing with this project is those that by law definitions and mine do classify as disabled who don't own that word. I'm certainly someone who sees myself as fitting into the mainstream, but I've also proposed shows that put it right out there, 'deaf, bi, and sick' - makes things pretty clear. ;) "Hard & Able: celebrating queer disability" will be on Monday August 24th. If you want to perform, let me know by July 10th at jay@ajaystewartproject.com.

At my work, we're presently taking accessible customer service training and it's a great initiative. Although, the training is a bit of a joke. If someone is blind do you: 1) point and say 'hey, it's just over there.', 2) 'pet their guide dog without permission' or 3) 'assist them as needed.' It's like saying is the sky 'blue', 'yellow', or 'maroon.' There should be some thought put into the training and trust, I've made my comments well known to those facilitating. :) Thankfully, I'll get to put 200 of my own staff through the training and make my own adjustments.

Secretly, this has been a life long passion of mine to remove the stigma of what disability represents. From the gr. 12 debate that had my opponent arguing the merits of sterilizing disabled individuals, where I crushed him and the entire class that was on his side.

To me, disability is a spectrum statement that covers such a vast amount of individuals. However, people still seem to see it as one thing: individuals incapable of taking care of themselves.

When I'd say a vast majority are strong empowering individuals that consistently demonstrate that the only limitations that exist are those that you put on them.

I can hear you now!

WOOHOO, I can hear you now!!! Spending 10 days in the land of the semi hearing is not an enjoyable feeling whatsoever. You see, I've got a mild hearing loss and wear hearing aids to help to get it to full power. Some people confuse having a hearing loss with being deaf. To explain it to children, I say that just like how some people wear glasses, some people wear hearing aids to help them hear better.

The major difference between glasses and hearing aids would be the insane cost for them. Ontario government will pitch in 500/aid every 3 years and your employee might be nice enough to chip in some too. Mine are probably about 5 years old and slowly dying. I had to get them in prior to the warranty running out or else I'd have to buy a new pair sooner than later and be a bit more broke.

Being one hearing aid short was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. For years, I only used one. The last 2 years, I've been using 2 and became quite comfortable with that. Spending 10 days without one, meeting new people, working, etc was not so much fun at all. It was a gentle reminder that I do have a disability and could face a potential future of struggling with it daily. On days when one feels invincible, it was a reminder that one is not.

My other one needs to go in too, but I've got a series of presentations coming up. Hard to be semi deaf when you're presenting to a room of 200 people. Well I could do it, it'd be one damn huge struggle. Two years ago, I went two weeks with nothing and pretty much just faked my way through the experience.

So if you've had the (dis)pleasure of hanging out with me over the last couple of weeks and I seemed a bit off, now you know why. For this week, I can hear you now. Next week, it'll be another week of just smiling and nodding along. :)