Scary Movie Round Up

Tomorrow is Halloween and the perfect time to watch a scary movie!

I was disappointed with the new Saw film (Saw VI). Sure it had gallons of blood but there was no suspense or characters I cared about. They tried to have a little twist on the ending but it was too little too late. The Saw franchise has become nothing more than a money maker for the studio now. The thing that made the first Saw film fantastic was the pacing, interesting characters and the unique situation (locked in a room and chained to the floor trying to escape).

I should also warn you to stay away from Rob Zombie's abortion...err "reinvention" of the Halloween franchise. The original Halloween (and a few of the sequels) were the perfect mix of suspense and horror and in my opinion some of the scariest movies out there. The new versions are white-trash death-metal stylized crap. Even the gore sucks. Avoid at all costs.

Luckily there are few on DVD that are worth renting this weekend:

I highly recommend Drag Me To Hell for your viewing pleasure. It's rare that you see something interesting and new with a supernatural kind of film (How many more Grudge rip-offs are there going to be?). It's a roller coaster ride of a movie, fast paced, full of unexpected surprises. It's also one of the best reviewed horror films in the past 5 years.

Trick r' Treat takes ghosts, cults, monsters, serial killers and combines them into five interwoven stories taking place on Halloween night. Its finally on DVD after selling out film festivals all over the world for the past two years. A clever movie that expertly adds humor without being cheesy.

Orphan is a great creepy kid movie. It's a little slow to start but the last half hour is CRAZY. There's are two "oh my god, I can't believe that just happened" moments at the end that are totally worth it.

There are a few movies coming out soon that may be promising. First is The Box with Cameron Diaz. Mysterious box arrives on doorstep, mystery and intrigue follow. The House of the Devil is getting great reviews for being a low-key 80's style horror-thriller. Sadly it's in limited release in the US and might not make it to Canada.

The only other film coming out that looks scary is Precious but that's mostly for Mo'Nique playing an abusive crack head and for Mariah Carey not wearing make up.

Does anyone else have recommendations for Halloween viewing? Anyone see Paranormal Activity?

The Truth...

If you ask me for the truth, there's a good chance that you'll get it.  I have this (awful) ability to tell you exactly what I'm thinking and it's rarely sugar coated.

Unfortunately, nobody really wants to hear the truth.  The truth often hurts.  It hurts, cuz it usually confirms all the awful things that we already thought. 

The idea of the truth is interesting to me.  What's truthful is strictly from your perspective in that very moment?  If you ask me the same question on a different day, there's a good chance that you'll get a different response.  If I'm in a pissy mood, you'll get a pissy answer.  If I'm in a good space, then you'll probably get something more positive.

Ask me about your new haircut and I may rip it to bits.  It's change.  I don't always react well to change.  A few weeks later, after you've cried yourself to sleep for this period, I may see it and think 'wow...that's so freakin' hot.'

Does your partner need to know your every thought?  Will it make the relationship stronger or simply strained?  If you know it'll strain it or end things, is it better to keep the truth to yourself?  Mama always said, 'What you don't know, can't hurt you.'

I've learned lately that not everybody wants to hear my truth.  I can respect that.  I'm starting to wonder if the truth is really the way to go.  How would you feel if your source of truth became your source of lies?  What if everybody around you simply gave you the old 'smile and nod' when you asked if your abusive demeaning loser of a boyfriend was the one for you?

Factory FAILS.

This is a review of "True Love Lies" playing at FACTORY THEATRE. It contains spoilers for the production, so read with caution or don't read at all.




Factory Theatre’s True Love Lies, written and directed by Brad Fraser is a play about the deconstruction of a seemingly perfect nuclear family. The fall-out, however, of father Kane (Ashley Wright), mother Carolyn (Julie Stewart), daughter Madison (Susanna Fournier) and son Royce (Andrew Craig) is far from interesting. The complications that ensue when David (David W. Keeley), a past lover of Kane, moves back into town and decides to open up a new restaurant, feels contrived and cliché, especially considering when I come to see theatre, I want to see something that I can’t see on television, in the movies, or on the internet.

In short: Madison discovers David during a job hunt and is refused hire because she is Kane’s daughter. Carolyn becomes jealous of David because it brings out her own dormant insecurities about Kane’s “gay” past, Royce has a mental breakdown and embarks on a horribly unrealistic murder-suicide attempt involving David and potentially his entire student body and Madison is very aware of her sexual promiscuity.
True Love Lies is Fraser’s attempt to be edgy and exciting, but he tries so hard that the entire production falls flat and is only held up, slightly, by the quick-paced dialogue, which makes everything seem funny, even during the moments that really shouldn’t be.

As for the actors, Stewart and Wright as parents Carolyn and Kane have no chemistry. The scripts attempt to create a fresh and bouncy sort of harmony that only comes with years and years of love and marriage and results in the two finishing one another’s sentences and thoughts is stifled by the forced and unnatural delivery of their lines. It doesn’t feel fun and exciting, it feels rehearsed and cheesey. Fraser’s construction of “togetherness” is tiring, because lets face it, there is nothing more annoying than two people trying to be something their not, and this goes for both the actors and the characters.

Fournier as Madison is even worse. The actor’s attempt to project her voice sounds like a mid-level yell, and what is worse is that the characterization of Madison is as bland as the set design—pasty and transparent. I would rather watch the lighting changes in this show (which, may be one of the only good things about this production) than watch Madison prance around in her black heels telling everyone what they think. Another part of the problem is Fournier’s youth: she looks far too young and fails to grasp at the sensuousness and confidence that Madison should exude, something that might make her more interesting. The character may be twenty-one and a tad bit immature, but Fournier turns her into a fourteen-year old teenage-mess taken straight from the set of “Gossip Girl”.

The only saving grace of this show is Keeley and Craig as David and Royce. Though they don’t have much to do together, when they do interact it’s both interesting and funny: until Royce decides to point a rifle at David. What unfolds is one of the most horribly written and directed angry-teen-rampage-with-a-gun scene ever—and I’ve seen “Boston Public.” True, my television references may not have a place next to theatre, but this is the point: True Love Lies is a badly written two-hour made for TV film thrown onto a stage.

Now, I did mention something good earlier and that was the lighting and sound design. Bretta Gerecke fails with the set but soars with the creative lighting, with the exception of the barely-though out red and blue washes that are used far too often to show “night time” and “sex time.” Gerecke’s depictions of location, from the wide beams of light that shine through into the restaurant during the day to the appearance of a cityscape in the backyard of the house at night are accompanied by Christopher Stanton’s extraordinary sound design. He creates a living environment through tiny details like the faint bark of a dog in the backyard at night and the chatter of customers mixed in with sounds of cutlery being cleared in the restaurant.

However, Fraser’s one-liner wit and simple plot will no doubt give True Love Lies the lift it does not deserve. As theatre for the masses, this show does not deserve your time or money; especially when you can catch better stories on FOX.

And When the Groove is Dead and Gone...

Michael Jackson needed to die in order to create a masterpiece.

Had he lived, This Is It would have been a spectacular concert, with Michael perfecting every last possible detail; however, in death he cedes artistic control to tour director Kenny Ortega, who skilfully draws back the curtain. We see a new version of Michael Jackson, where instead of product we get process.

His King of Pop crown certainly needs no defending, so it’s great to see him hard at work with a synth player perfecting the intro to “The Way You Make Me Feel”. He gently teases, pushes, and illustrates the rhythm for the musician, and we discover how he sees and feels his own classic work. If you are a musician or performer, things like this can be as or more valuable than whatever the end result is. Later on, whether trading riffs with a back up singer, or working out a solo with his lead guitar player, he puts aside his own perfection in order to help them find theirs. Like a master carpenter at work, we watch as he hones from whole wood every intricate detail of the concert.

Media reports of him being listless or unable to sing are proven false. Sometimes performing full out, sometimes marking the steps, he outdoes the dancers half his age and yet still had something to prove. You get massive puppets, gigantic spider robots, a levitating stage, 3D effects, spins, high notes, trapdoors, MJ flying through the air on a cherry picker, aerial choreography, swarovski crystals and costumes to die for…..no surprise there, spectacle is what he’s known for. Where This Is It succeeds, however, is in showing Michael at work with these elements: playfully riding the cherry picker and asking to go higher, setting light and band cues, and rehearsing music and iconic choreography until it’s flawless. The undisputed King of Pop, best-selling artist of all time, 13-time grammy winner is shown working a phrase of “Human Nature” with his vocal coach ad nauseum, but when the songs starts proper the results are impressive. By the time “Billie Jean” closes the film, we are seeing the final cold sparks of brilliant mind. This concert that will never be is laid out for us in blue-prints, and after thrilling to his output for 40 years, we finally get to observe Michael Jackson’s artistic DNA.

After so many years of dizzying highs and salacious lows, it’s easy to see MJ as a tragic figure, or modern-day Christ figure, or infallible hitmaker. In a way that no trial, live-from Neverland satellite interview, press conference, or autobiography never could, This Is It humanizes Michael Jackson. It is the film’s truly remarkable achievement: revealing genius and cementing an already gilded legacy. The man in MJ’s mirror need not fear for his kingdom.

Does size really matter?

I am reading these articles for the class I TA for and I find the articles very interesting especially with regards to oppressive attitudes and practices against fat (gay) men. It is evident, according to one of the articles that fat-oppressive attitudes are prevalent amongst men and women who wish to be found attractive by men. I wanted to discuss the oppositional "bodies" in the gay community: that of the ideal type (e.g. "the muscle boy" based on Alvarez's book, i.e. "hard, naked, muscular body") versus that of bears and chubs. I'm going to keep this brief or else I'll end up writing an essay. According to Monaggan (2008), Bears engage in self-acceptance and promotion, promoting themselves as "real" or "naturally" masculine. On the other hand, the young, smooth, blond and gym-buffed are also promoting themselves as "masculine". I just wanted to interrogate this idea of "masculinity" and the apparent obsession of the gay community with it. Sissyphobia refers to the hatred or fear of effiminate men or "sissies" not only in the heterosexual society, but also in the gay community itself. So I wanted to ask, why the obsession with 'masculinity'?

The gay community comes in different shapes and sizes and I want to argue that we all have different preferences as to what we find attractive; but then again, the prevalence of the gym-buffed in gay media and visibly everywhere in the gay culture has it diminish all other "types" of bodies and have privileged the model type

Screemers vs. Halloween Haunt

These past two days have been filled with frightful experiences.  I had the pleasure of checking out Screemers at the Ex and Halloween Haunt at Wonderland.  

Here's a comparative break down of those two experiences...

Screemers:
Location:  The Ex.  Which works out perfectly, when you have a friend that lives a 10 min. walk from it.  Shitty when it's pouring rain for all 10 min. of that journey.
Cost: $25 with $5 discounted coupon found online
Attractions:  6 Haunted and some more carnival rides (shut down due to rain).  The haunted each had their own theme with one all dark, another in 3d, another asylum, and a few that had mazes at the end.
Best Attraction:  3d Haunted House.  You get distracted at the cool 3d effects only to get scared by a real person.
Scare Rating:  I was genuinely scared at least 2-3 times at each attraction.
Best feature:  Indoors, a variety of attractions, and they gave you 30 seconds head start from other groups to ensure that you were frightened.
Worst feature:  Due to the rain, only 5 attractions were open and the evening can go by quite quickly.

Halloween Haunt
Location:  Wonderland.  Which means that you need to drive.  Get there early, we were aiming for 7 and didn't get in until 7:30.  Traffic was a horrible bitch.
Cost: $32 with corporate discount.
Attractions:  I believe there was 12-15 different haunted attractions and then most of the rides are open.
Best attraction:  I don't recall the name.  But it was a long wait, but it certainly delivered.  Lots of darkness, scary music, and a bunch of 'scary' ppl popping out all throughout.  Plus, my friend was scared shitless at one point by a small person popping up in front of her.
Scare Rating:  I was genuinely scared about once per attraction, so that bodes well.
Best feature:  Because there's so much to do, you can't really get through it all.  So it makes you want to try it again.
Worst feature:  Everybody goes in at the same time.  Park is only open for 5 hours, which doesn't seem like enough time.

For me, Screemers was the better experience.  It may be that I went with only one person.  This makes decision making much easier.  Plus, due to the rain, there was only the option of doing scary stuff.  As well, not having to drive 1.5 hour total makes me a happy lad.  Finally, having your own time in a haunted space with just your friends means that you don't see everything coming ahead.  It's hard to be scared, when you know when the monster jumps out.

Only one more weekend to check out both of these experiences.

Happy Halloween!

P!nk Kylie Mika Brannan - Mini Reviews

It's been quite the gay concert month for me.  I've seen P!nk, Kylie, Mika and even Jay Brannan.  Great, Great, Great, Good are my official reviews.  Here's just some quickie reviews on 4 concerts, I could type much more on each, but then this'd be the longest post of mine yet.

P!nk:
Venue:  Air Canada Centre
Seat:  General Admission floor - not as horrible as I had pictured it.  I imagined dealing with people continuously smashing into me trying to get closer to their goddess.  Not a single person hit me the entire evening.   I ended up 10 rows back from the stage.
Went with: No one, I'm a loner
Best song: Funhouse (giant scary clowns and I think even some pyro)
Worst song: I'm pretty sure I loved it all
Ex's/Friends/Lovers Spotted:  2 ex lovers, one that I knew was attending and 1 that I didn't want to speak to again.
Over all:  P!nk's voice is amazing live!!!  She does fun dance moves on occasion.  She interacts well with her band.  She has genuine fun and it makes it fun for you.

Kylie Minogue:

Venue:  Air Canada Centre
Seat: Tenth Row Floor, Left Side - originally had row 26, but a few days prior to the show checked ticketmaster and got better seats.  Sold the old seats for about half the cost, but whatever.
Went with: Again, I'm a loner. 
Best song: Come Into My World, All I See, and Love At 1st Sight
Worst song:  I'm a geek, but I enjoyed it all
Ex's/Friends/Lovers Spotted:  I've never seen so many freakin queers in one space.  I had slept with I think 5 people there and spotted at least 6-8 friends/acquaintances.
Over all:  Kylie is an extreme talent and should definitely come back for another tour.  She sings live and quite well.  She dances and quite well.  She did one number where she was lifted in the air doing the splits.  Plus, she knows how to please her gay boys.  Hot gay dancers in speedos showering.  YUM!  The audience loved loved loved her.  She left for 10 min. b4 the encore started and the applause just kept getting louder.

Mika:
Venue: Sound Academy:
Seats: General admission - I think we were about 15 rows back for this one.  Way too many stupid baby gays that tried their best to ruin my night.
Went with:  Uh-oh, no longer a loner.  Went with an ex and a new bud.
Best song: We Are Golden and Touches You
Worst song: Whatever the first song was, I was distracted by baby gays bashing into me repeatedly.
Ex's/Friends/Lovers Spotted: see 'went with'
Over all:  My first concert was Mika was amazing.  He wasn't as famous and it was a good venue and I could see him throughout.  This time, I had a lot of tall ppl in front of me and too many baby gays around.  Mika's voice sounds exactly like the album, his energy is infectious, and I love most of his songs.

Jay Brannan:
Venue: El Mocambo
Seat: General admission - stood close to the back of the club.  No point in standing close and being squished, when you can stand from afar and see all.
Went with: Ex and a friend
Best Song: Half boyfriend
Worst song: About half the set that I didn't know
Ex's/Friends/Lovers Spotted: An online bud was apparently there, but he spotted me.  Saw a guy from HS there.  Finally, ran into a guy that I dated a few times and it made my heart got pitter patter.
Over all:  I went cuz the tickets were dirt cheap and I've seen his penis on film.  Plus, he sings sad songs.  I enjoyed all the songs that I knew, he was semi humourous, and it was worth the $16.  He's not as funny as the gays made it seem though.  They laughed their asses off at everything, but I understand that they did so to get into his pants.

Does anyone know where I can find appetite suppressants?

Okay.
So maybe I'm a little fucked up in the head.

I had a really, really, busy day last Tuesday. I woke up, went to the gym, ate a bowl of cereal, and then started my 10 hour day of class at York. During this 10 hour stretch, I had a bottle of water, a coffee and two Samosa's. It wasn't until 10:45 at night while catching up with my friend over the phone as I headed home that I realized... "I haven't eaten much at all today."

And so here is where the sick twisted part of my seriously brainwashed mind comes in--and to better illustrate it, let me provide you all with a play-by-play of my thought process after said realization:

a) Why wasn't I hungry?
b) Oh yeah, I had a presentation and I was nervous all day.
c) Should I eat something now? It's late.
d) Maybe I shouldn't eat at all and just wait till...
e) How can I do it again tomorrow?
f) Where can I find appetite suppressants?

When I repeated this all to my friend over the phone, she freaked. And then I freaked. I felt like I was in high school again--Yes, I had serious image issues and eating problems back then, as did my sister--we blame it on our rents--however, the fact that the total WRONGNESS of it all didn't hit me until MUCH later worries me. What the hell has happened to make me think this way? I can blame it on the gays, I can blame it on Abercrombie & Fitch, or I can blame it on my rents, but that won't do any good because it's STILL a problem.

Eating is a good thing to do. The more calories that you burn, the more calories you need to ingest. It's a system, it keeps you flowing; like all-bran, it keeps you regular.

Oddly enough, I still find it sort of funny, because really, there are times when all I am is one big walking stereotype and I don't even know it...

So how about it? Have any of you done anything that has made you WTF yourself for a good moment or two? Like having a lot of fun while burning things?

Does hate have to be gay?

A tragedy has occurred.  An individual was brutally murdered.  Beaten and then run over and then later succumb to this brutality at the hospital.

When the individual is gay and suffers such trauma, why is the assumption that it was a hate crime?  Everyone that I've spoken to or article that I've read is automatically going to the 'killed for being queer' conclusion.  What is it within our community that suggests that horrendous things only happen to us, when we're queer?

What if these individuals killed him for being white, prettier than them, cuz he started something first, or simply because they were fucking thugs looking to kill anything that couldn't defend themselves?

From the media that we consume to the videos and to the plays that we view, it's not uncommon to face adversary for being queer.  Coming out leads to a beat down by our father, isolation from the cool kids, and sometimes suicide.  Queer relationships are torn apart, lovers are beaten before our eyes, and sorrow is all too common.

Bash'd is now playing at Theatre Passe Muraille.  It's a great show with catchy songs and 2 performances that rely on impeccable timing by its cast.  Sadly, the title foreshadows its ending.  From what I recall 2 years ago at the Fringe, someone is 'bash'd' to death.  This is a hit show.  Imagine, if they didn't die at the end.  Is this a hit show, cuz homosexuals can comprehend such an ending and the  heteros leave with a feeling of 'well at least the faggot dies in the end...?'

I'm not saying that the investigation into the horrible death of Christopher Skinner will not lead to a conclusion that it was in fact a hate crime.  But for now, I'd rather consider the many possibilities of the motive behind his murder.  Instead of just assuming that a murdered homosexual must equal hate crime.

Online Dating

So I've recently entered the world of online dating. There's a number of sites out there based on what you are looking for (action, pictures, dating, husband...etc). I joined two of the middle of the road sites in hopes of meeting some new people outside of my current circle and maybe finding a cool guy to date.

The day you join you feel like a superstar. You get tons of messages and compliments. You are the new guy in town. Then after a few weeks the messages slow down and you are become one of the regulars. Online dating can really bring out the obsessive nature in people. I know I ended up checking for messages multiple times a day and spending way too much time searching profiles.

One of the problems with online dating is that the profiles can be misleading. People want to put their best selves forward. I found that very often these "best selves" are what the person aspires to be, not how they actually are in real life. A "28 year old, banker with an athletic body and an interest in playing rugby" might actually mean he's 34, wears baseball hats, works in a coffee shop in the BMO building and owns the naked french rugby team calendar.

There's a vetting process that goes on when you meet someone in a natural setting (like at a party, grocery shopping...etc) versus an arranged date from online. You get to see how the person really is and decide if they are worth pursuing. With online dating it takes a few meetings before you get an idea of the persons true self.

Real Life Awkward Situation - I went on a coffee date with a guy from online. Seemed nice, a little reserved but a quality guy. On the Official First Date we went for dinner then he suggested we get some wine and go back to his place. It was a week night but I figured what the hell. Against my better judgement, we ended up getting hammered but it was fun. Who isn't fun after a few drinks? He called me one wednesday night wasted telling me how much he likes me. A novice mistake. It happens. (red flag #1)

Official Second Date: went for dinner where he told me he wanted to "show me off" to his friends and ex boyfriend. (red flag #2). We go to a party where he proceeds to grope me in the most blatant public display of affection I've seen. He refuses to stop until I actually push him away from me. (red flag #3). He gets wasted and makes a jack ass out of himself. I overhear a number of people commenting on what a mess he is. (and the final red flag) Pulls his jeans down in the middle of the living room to reveal his underwear and that I'll "get to see more later". Um no. I'm good thanks.

My point is that it took me hanging out with this guy three times before I saw that he was kind of a drunk mess and that he was not someone I'm interesting in hanging out with. I suppose that is the "fun" part of dating.

Now, the profiles have been deleted...I think I'm going to stick to meeting guys through friends and being a little more aggressive if I see someone who piques my interest. I have met some great people from online so it's not all bad. What are your thoughts on online dating? Any horror stories? Any love matches?

PURPLE WAS ALL THE RAGE IN PARIS

Sunday, October 18/Monday, October 19, 2009

PURPLE WAS ALL THE RAGE IN PARIS

By Philip Cairns

Copyright 2009 by Philip Cairns

Emotions are churning from the depths of my soul.
So intense, they feel like the fireworks in Hitchcock’s “To Catch a Thief”.
Don’t know where they’re coming from.
Faded dreams surround me, as if an anvil had crushed my chest.

I miss the labyrinth-like streets of Paris.
The ecstasy of seeing the “Mona Lisa” in the flesh,
So to speak.
The stunning beauty of the Paris Opera House and the Notre Dame Cathedral.
Buying an exquisite purple etching on a winding street full of art galleries.
I long for the Parisian outdoor cafes
And the beauty of the well-dressed, fashionable women.
The gorgeous, jewel-like young men glowing in the sun.

Getting lost and winding up in the Red Light district,
A prostitute motioned for me to come to her.
Her friend (was he a pimp?) helped me to find my way.
I was only one street away from my sought-after destination.

I wasn’t blue in Paris.
Spending money,
Shopping.
The glorious spectacle of the city dazzling my child-like eyes.
Walking in lush, giant, manicured gardens beside an enormous palace.
Ogling rare jewel-encrusted goblets in the Louvre.
Standing in awe in front of masterpieces by Leonardo da Vinci.

Purple was the magical colour in that late summer:
In store windows, in people’s clothes on the street,
My Hugo Boss shirt and mauve suede shoes.

Judy Garland sings “Paris is a Lonely Town” but I never felt that way.
My companion had scores of relatives, wining and dining us.
The plump old aunt who lives in a fashionable part of town,
With teeming, trendy cafes below her plant-filled balcony.
Annie is good friends with her dead husband’s mistress.
Only in Gay Paree!!

The Arc de Triomphe blew my mind.
So much history oozing from every pore.
Respect and reverence for the past.
I bought a gorgeous miniature high heel shoe near the Seine.
I swam in the pool and took steam in a gay sauna bath
But I remained chaste for the whole trip.

Sitting at meals where everyone spoke French, except me.
Everything sparkled in this vibrant city.
I was mesmerized by the sight of the Eiffel Tower
Lit up in the distance at night.
I stood in a square and stared at it for hours
While young street performers twirled flaming batons
And danced a choreographed routine.
My friend bought me a bathrobe that cost $180!

Paris, let me see you, again, before I die.
Embrace me.
Let me gorge on your culture and beauty.
You are like another planet, dipped in antiquity.
Ancient sculptures sit placidly in your museums.
Let me sit on the top of the double-decker bus
Sucking in all your riches.

The cab driver said, “It’s only the Eiffel Tower. Big deal,”
As we passed it for the first time in daylight.
I sat sniffling in the front seat because it epitomizes romance, to me,
And I never thought I would see it.

Life has turned out so different than I had planned.
Dreams turning into nightmares.
But walking along the Champs-Elysees at night
Is like a rush of fresh poppers.

Loud cafes with glamorous women.
Magnificent, old triangular buildings.
Winding, narrow streets.
The over-the-top owner of the art gallery,
Who could have stepped out of the British film “The Red Shoes”,
Flitting around with enormous eyes and her hair pulled back in a bun.

Warm, perfect weather.
Beauty lurks around every corner in Paris.
Let me drink you till I burst.
Feed my spirit and inspire me.
I need to see you one more time.

Where The Wild Things Are - Simply Amazing

Literally, I walked into my place from seeing 'Where The Wild Things Are' and need to do a quick post informing you that you should go and see this movie.

1) The soundtrack is perfect for this film.  You will need to download it post-show
2) The film allows for quiet simple moments.  The pace can be slow, but it allows you to immerse yourself into the film.
3) The wild things are real.  It's not some crummy animation, they're solid breathing emotive creatures.
4) This is a story told from a child's perspective.  From the dialogue to the parallells from reality to fantasy.  Many critics have harped on the simple plot, they forgot that this is Max's story.
5) Catherine Keener is in it.  A small role, but everything she does is grand.

Simple short post to get you to go out and enjoy a movie.  I haven't almost cried in a film in either forever or a long time and I got pretty close a few times in this one.

Let me know your post film thoughts,
J

Should Anderson Cooper Strip for 50k?

I think it's safe to say that many of us queers have some love for Anderson Cooper. Sure, he has continuously let us gays down for his choice of not coming out about his sexuality, but it's that mystique that makes him even more sexy.

You can watch him each night on 360 and lately each Friday with Kelly Ripa on Live with Regis & Kelly. While covering the news, he keeps it real and honest. While dishing in host chat, he's funny and charming.

He gets a lot of flack for not coming out, but I think I've found a way for him to make up for it.

HE CAN DO A STRIP SHOW FOR 50 000!!!

A visit to St. Marc's spa website reveals an online petition to get Anderson Cooper to perform a full frontal 15 min. strip show and in exchange, they will give him 50 000.

He can add some rules, like no one can take pictures or videos, perhaps they can't even comment on the size of his wang. He can even choose the song list for the strip tease and what he wears (I'd like him to start in a suit and strip down to some booty shorts only to lose those and be wearing a classic stripper gold thong). Afterwards, he can even donate the 50 000 to his fav. charity (preferably one that's queer focused).

It'll give him a way to say 'Thanks' to his queer audience for supporting him all these years, boost his ratings on CNN, and give 50k to a struggling charity. All for 15 min. of prancing around and getting naked.

With this all in mind, should Anderson Cooper for 50k?

I'll do you like a truck

Geo Da Silva - I'll Do You Like A Truck
Uploaded by AirplayRecords. - Explore more music videos.

Now I've certainly written some stupid shit over my artist years (Don't Hate Just Masturbate, Chair Fuck, Shoot a load, not yourself - lyrics found at ajaystewartproject.com.)  But this piece is truly one of the worst things that I've ever seen.

I'll do you like a truck makes no sense lyrically and doesn't even try to justify it with some witty verses.  It's video is simple...fit bod ppl (most ugly) taking off their clothes and doing some 'slap that ass' dance.

I've been doing my best to not speak about stupid shit on here for awhile.  As I feel it simply promotes the stupidity.  But I want you all to sit and watch this video...at least once...at least for 30 seconds.

Afterwards, you will be soooo inspired that if this piece of garbage can be produced and get a music video that anything that you do has an equal or better chance.

There are times as an artist that I feel that I will never measure up and then there are moments like this that I am glad that I didn't give up so many years ago.

Exodus from Church?

I've noticed that Jay already blogged about this article from the Star but I just wanted to give my two cents (I promise this a different take). I want to point out some issues raised in the article:
(i) gentrification: Church and Wellesley is no longer the 'ghetto' it used to be before the victories of gay rights e.g. same-sex marriage
(ii) not a very welcoming environment for trans folks
(iii) multi-ethnic events are very rare and everything seems to be dominated by males (read: gay white men)
(iv) unfriendly bars and clubs towards lesbians
(v) businesses are largely geared towards middle-class white men
What then are the problems in the gay village that seem to be unfriendly and unwelcoming towards our brethren who potentially are 'outsiders' in the community which is supposed to be welcoming to everyone? The first problem that I could see here as the article stated is the gentrification of the village. I remember one episode of Will and Grace when Jack and Will bought a property (I think, I do not completely remember)in a small town in the middle of the woods and their presence was welcomed because they were gay and they thought that by bringing in the gays there, they will gentrify their neighbourhood.I think that this is partly true but at the same time, who gets disadvantaged with the gentrification of the village? As the article have said, the businesses are largely targetted towards middle-class gay men and by the fact that they are white and gay tells us that the racialized minority gay men and women cannot and are not able to afford living and hanging out in the village. The fact that multi-ethnic events are very rare is also not a surprise. Just hang out in the village and you will see how the village is dominated by white men. Further, as with anything concerning LGBTs, the trans folks are always left out. Where is the warm embrace and welcoming spirit that the village is supposed to offer 'us' for simply being a non-heteronormative person? It seems to me that the village has become a beacon and epitome of exclusion and hierarchy between and amongst those who identify as LGBTTI2Q. In any community afterall, eventhough we are considered to be marginalized, there is another layer of marginalization in that marginalized community. The exclusionary practices in the village shows us how these multiple layers of marginalization work within and between the LGBTQ community. How do can we address this further marginalization of racialized LGBTQ folks, womyn, trans folks and bisexuals, in addition to Jay's questions below.

I don't need a Gay Village!

This morning came TheStar's attempt at looking relevant and caring about queer issues...about 2 weeks too late.

If you're queer and semi aware of current events, you've heard that Zelda's is no longer on Church St.  In true super uber gay drama, Zelda's up and disappeared over night.  Apparently, rent was just too expensive for them. 

People cried and cheered over such an occurrence and continued with the talks of the Village dying.

Bitches, the Village has been bleeding from both ends towards a slow death for years.  It's simple.  It's old and tired and needs some major lipo to look good again.  Plus, it only appeals to a very small market.  And unlike every other writer, I'm not going to mention that it's only for middle aged middle class whities.  It's simply for those that are fine w/ rocking the gay stereotype.

I haven't been out gay clubbing in TO in close to 7 months.  Why?  a) I'm avoiding all my ex's and b) I rarely enjoy myself.

Here's our choice for a 'Church St & Area' gay night out...

1) Woody's - never been and made life long goal to never attend.  I win Best Ass every night at my place. :P

2) Zelda's - I went there twice.  One for a b-day party.  Once for drinks.  It was campy, but the food was blah.

3) Crews - This place was already way too hot and the DJs played mostly crap.  The only fun thing was going up and down the stairs hoping to catch a good song.  Then continuing to play that game all night long.

4) Buddies - They will never succeed on a Fri. night.  Saturdays were hit and miss.  If the DJ ignored crappy requests by drunken children and stuck to a current top 40 mix...it'd be tolerable.

5) Fly - HA!

6) 5ive - I miss you.  You were fun

7) Barn - HA, HA!

8) Goodhandy's - Wednesday stroke offs were fun until they kept pushing the 'good' stuff until after 12 and closer to 1am.  Some of us need to work the next day. 

9) I'm sure there's more, but is of no interest to me...

Now a lot is being said about 'do we really need a gay village?' - it's safe everywhere!  Or at least in a few more spaces within the city. 

For me, it's that the heteros have invaded the space so much that it's no longer queer.  It's just another night out.  There's nothing special about any of these clubs.  I see heteros making out with each other, brides hosting their bachelorettes, or every fag with 6-7 hags. 

Plus, can't we be a bit more creative with our programming??  House music and go go boys...COME NOW!  Dance music and a drag queen with go go boys...COME NOW!!!  Seriously??  The nights are all failing..why don't we try something a little different?  Perhaps, a rock night.  Imagine that??  A night where we dance up a storm to some solid rock...or even rock pop...if we must start somewhere.  Or even *gasps* a 25 and older club night.  How many of us have simply stopped clubbing because we're tired of the baby gays upstaging us or simply being SOOO annoyingly stupid and drunk and high?

Instead of blaming increased rent spaces for shoo-ing the queer establishments out of their spaces???  Why don't we look at some alternatives measures to what to do to attract queers back to Church?

No more self inflicted spam!!!

How many e-mails do you get a day???  5, 10, 15, 300?  How many of those are spam?  Better yet, how many of that spam did you self inflict?

Did you sign up for a contest, register for a site, or even click that stupid 'click here for future promotional information' button at the end of an online purchase.

I KNOW I DID!!!

Then I realized, what's been inflicted can always be relieved.  It's all through the magic of the UNSUBSCRIBE button.  My spam is now at about 10% of the e-mails that I receive daily instead of the previous 30-50%. 

Sure, I no longer know about the latest sales at Apple, Future Shop, Chapter's, etc.  But I pretty much delete most of those each time without reading them.

Look at the end of each piece of SPAM that you receive and see if you can remove it permanently.  You can thank me after you've done this for the hundreds of e-mails that you no longer have to delete.  With all that spare time, you can now spend more time searching for porn.

The Partner Itch

Ever get that itch and you know that you shouldn't scratch it.  Cuz once you do, it just makes it itch so much worse.  Or leads to you crying in the corner over another failed relationship. ;)

Whoa, now that was a big jump.  But follow along down this path with me...

It's been about 15 months since I've been in a long term relationship.  Even longer, if you count that relationship as being over a few months prior to when we actually ended it.   A lot less if you count us ending things and then not officially parting ways until this last February (lol...did you follow all that?)

I keep convincing myself that I have no need for a partner.  They take up too much time.  You're constantly disappointed by them.  You're forced to hang out with their lame friends.  They get sick or someone they know get sick or their life is so depressing that you can't break up w/ them in fear that they'll kill themselves.

But then there's time after you've had a successful day and you want to come home, get naked with a lover and celebrate such accomplishment.  Sometimes, you just want to turn over in bed and find your lover lying there naked with a peaceful smile on their face.  Or when you want to do something random and your lover is an eager accomplice.

Plus, I really miss the arguments.  It's no fun to argue with anybody else, there's no stakes.  A customer presents a conflict.  Who cares!  Your Mama yells at you.  She can't ground you any more.  A friend gets upset with you.  When does that even happen?  But a fight with a lover is filled with passion and tears and fantastic make up sex.  I miss that.  Plus, I miss wondering if this person will be the one that I share the rest of my life with.  I miss having someone that knows me far deeper than the many layers that I put up. 

But I don't miss feeling like I give it my all and they only give it a try.  I don't miss looking deep in their eyes and realizing that this isn't right.  Finally, I don't miss the feeling of waking up beside somebody and that 'feeling' being gone.  You can't explain it to them, other than 'I just don't love you any more.'

The Partner Itch is a tempting one.  For now, I'll let it sit and fester. 

Rock'n'Rolling...

I’ll admit, when I first read Tom Stoppard’s Rock’n’Roll I did not understand it. And when I speak of my lack of understanding, I don’t mean, “What happened?” I know what happens in this play, I can comprehend the basic plot points throughout the story—but what I did not grasp was the underlying spirit of the show.

I tend to lean towards the belief that within each play, there is at least one, if not a few lines that can summarize the basic idea of the play.
In The Canadian Stage Company’s production of Rock’n’Roll, directed by Donna Feore, the cancer-ridden intellecturess Eleanor, played brilliantly by Fiona Reid, explains to her student:

“Eros is amachanon, he’s spirit as opposed to machinery, Sappho is making the distinction. He’s not naughty, he’s—what? Uncontrollable, Uncageable.”

Set during the democratic revolution of Soviet Russia, the revolutionary and uncageable spirit is what lies at the heart of this show. As a 22-year-old suburbanite, I failed to grasp at the meat and instead fiddled only with the skin when faced with just the text. But as the lights went down and Patrick Kwok-Choon sang the first few magical lines of Syd Barrett’s “Golden Hair” as the illusory God Pan/Piper, I was immediately swept up and into Stoppard’s monolithic love song to an entire generation of believers—believers of ideas that manifested themselves into a world of action.

Shaun Smyth plays Jan, a rock’n’roll junkie whose political faith lies in the calloused, guitar string-flicking hands of the revolutionary rock group “The Plastic People of the Universe.” Referenced throughout the play, along with an entire soundtrack of American 60’s rock that introduces each successive scene, the music is a clear emotional, generational and theatrical anchor, which grounds the play within a specific context.

The play travels back and forth between Cambridge and Prague from 1968 till 1990. At a house in Cambridge, Max (played by Kenneth Welsh) and Eleanor Morrow live with their daughter Esme (Alex Paxton-Beeseley). In a small apartment in Prague, Jan lives with his vinyl records. Between these four, a variety of other characters surface and resurface, which include Lenka, Eleanor’s former student and Max’s future lover after Eleanor’s passing, and Ferdinand, Jan’s best friend and soft political advocate.
Reid shines as Eleanor in the first act. She remains the most interesting thing to watch on stage, especially during her sugary-sweet threat against an overly flirtatious Lenka and her gripping desperation for Max’s “grieving soul” when she passes. Reid also nails the older Esme (Paxton and Reid are double cast; Paxton later plays Alice, Esme’s future daughter), a former hippie who tries to keep her former vibrating energy contained, but fails always at the most comedic of times.

Smyth unfortunately seems to have trouble playing young Jan, as he comes off as an awkward but well-rehearsed series of movements and lines. His hair is distracting and he doesn't look like as if he is "grounded" within his body whatsoever. He does however redeem himself in the second act as an older Jan, losing the disheveled long hair and trading it in for a respectable jacket and shirt. I think the main problem was Smyth’s overzealous attempt to catch the sporadic vibrant energy of a rock’n’roll youth.

The set, designed by Michael Gianfrancesco is also worthy of note. The walls of both main sets are wallpapered images. The Cambridge house is divided neatly between an entire wall of green foliage on the right, and a series of floor to ceiling book-spines on the left. Jan’s apartment is covered in rows upon rows of vinyl record cases. These metaphorical designs speak volumes about the ideas that translate through the text and characters. In the opening of both acts one and two, Esme the hippie appears on her back, legs up on the seat of the patio chair, smoking amongst the foliage. Max the communist intellect on the other hand always enters from the left. There seems to be an ongoing debate between reason and passion, and this is echoed through Lenka towards the end of the play:

Lenka You think human nature is a beast which must be put in a cage. But it’s the cage that makes the animal bad.
…
Max The cage is reason.

In the end, this play is about something more than just music and politics. It’s about the conviction of beliefs and the passion that drives these characters to fight, to love, and to move on. This play is also a bold comment on the narcissism and apathy of my generation—as the general consensus from my peers was a non-committal post-show shrug. If only one day we can be spurred on enough to give a damn, we might be able to save ourselves from the imminent loss of our own human spirit.

I have genuine affection Stephen Harper

I have genuine affection for Stephen Harper.

Don't get me wrong now. Ideologically, I hate him. I hate even more now that I like him. Well, maybe not like, but begrudgingly respect.

Until now, I haven't thought he's done a single right or good thing since taking office.....seems to me that his ego, barely concealed right-wing politics, and blatant disregard for the Canadian people have done nothing but harm to the country. He seems to have no soul or no genuine emotion; hell, even Mulroney ('member him?) seemed to care every now and then. Stephen Harper looks and acts dead inside. Looking into his eyes as he sits for awkwardly-staged photo ops or delivers a life-less speech is like looking into the eyes of a salmon on ice at the supermarket.


Until now. When I heard that he performed a Beatles tune with Yo-Yo Ma at the National Arts Centre, I cringed. The same man who proudly proclaims that Canadians don't care about the arts (which presumably include things like music, piano lessons, and Yo-Yo freaking Ma)? Eff him.

And then I watched the video.

It's totally cute. Genuine. Humble. Sweet, even. For the first time ever, I'm not afraid or angry watching this man, and he brings a smile to my face. I even believe maybe he does get high with his friends. He keeps a decent sense of rhythm and pitch, and I hope that the other leaders follow suit. I want to hear Gilles Duceppe's take on "Hymne de l'amour" and Layton scat through "Orange-Colored Sky" and Ignatieff sing, well, anything as long as he fixes those dr. seuss-like eyebrows of his.

Playful Stephen Harper. Never thought I'd see the day.....and while he still doesn't have my vote, he def. has a little piece of my heart. UGH.

The LSAT Experience...

Soooooooooooooo, I turned to the dark side.  I took an institutionalized standardized academic test and I'm letting you all know about it.

I don't think I've ever taken a standardized test.  My Mom is firmly against the gifted program and so I didn't take it in gr. 3.  She doesn't feel that people are gifted, they just think differently.  My sis got to take it and she was apparently on the path for gifted-ness, but then Mama shut 'er down.  I came along and she wanted no part in it.  My bro apparently took some iq tests as he was SPED in school and it demonstrated that he's super smart.  Nothing for me though.  I guess I'm just possibly dumb Jay. ;)

Back in June, I went on a date with a lawyer.  It didn't work out passed date 3, but it did get me thinking about law school.  Growing up, I was going to be the lawyer, then I discovered how much school it took and decided that it wasn't for me.  Fast forward 10 years and I've already done 3 full time years and 3 part time years to gain a diploma and almost a degree.  What's another 3 years?  Plus, I just spent a week out West (oh another blog posting to come...) checking out campuses and it seems like fun.  Yes, 3 years of law school seems like fun to me. :P

Sadly to get into law school, you gotta pass this silly standardized LSAT.  It tests logical thinking, but asks nothing about lawyer-ing stuff.  I'd rather do that, but I guess you do that after law school at the bar exam.

Either way, I kinda studied for it and I doubt that I did very well.  Doing it for real is way different than doing it in your trunks shirtless casually laid out on your futon, while timing down the minutes using your oven timer. 

In reality, you're in a room with 200 people, in jeans and sweating like crazy in your hoodie.  The guy beside you is tapping his pencil, the gal behind you is kickin her leg passed your head and every few seconds, somebody leaves the space to go to the washroom.  Which makes you think, well shit, I need to piss too.  But I can't piss.  If I piss, I lose time.  There's only 35 min. per section. Can't piss, must focus. But I'm not focusing, I'm thinking about pissing.  Focus, focus, focus.  90 min. later you get a break and you run to the washroom.

The actual test ain't so bad, joys of standardized is that you can study, but not really study for it.  You have an idea of what they're looking for.  But if you don't study the stuff that you get wrong all the time, you're liable to make the same mistakes.

Post LSAT and not feeling comfortable, I've already dropped a grand on a Kaplan prep course.  The initial diagnostic score was super sad.  I'm only 30% smarter than others.  I need to be 80% smarter or more to get into the ol' law schools.  The class should be fun, I like knowledge and such.  Plus the online component is sweet and I love online stuff. :)  Plus, I'm kinda crushing on the instructor.  He's geek cute, not cute cute.  But if I get extra attention, it'll be worth it. :)

I hated these songs, but now I like 'em

I'm usually on top of the mainstream hits, but lately it's taken me awhile to warm to three of the following hits.

Mariah's momentum from 2 albums ago does not flow into this one.  She's doing an album a year lately and it just ain't working for her.  Plus, she's taking advice from Nick Cannon and he's about as musically inclined as Lindsay Lohan.  It took a few months, but I'm enjoying Obsessed.  It's a Touch My Body knock off and I've yet to hear an Obsessed remix that matches any of the great club one's release for Touch My Body.  Off the new album, I'll take Obsessed, Standing O, and Up Out My Face.

Check the Obsessed vid...

Mariah Carey - Obsessed
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Explore more music videos.

I've heard Taylor Swift songs for the last little while and have not liked a single one.  My staff was playing You Belong To Me throughout the summer and I still disliked it.  A few weeks ago, it came on the radio and now I play it on my ipod at least once a day.  There's something about country songs that I really enjoy.  You couldn't sing the same lyrics in a pop/rock song and have it come off as not sounding 100% hokey.  '

"And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?"

I could sing that part over and over all night long.  Yes, I am a 14 year old girl trapped in a 27 year old's body. :P

Check the You Belong To Me vid...

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Explore more music videos.

Finally, I love to hate on Beyonce.  She really needs to take a break and just disappear and come back in 3 years and then I'll be like 'Hooray, she's returned.'  When I first downloaded her album, I don't recall liking a single song off of it.  Single Ladies was only enjoyable after a few viewings of the video.  At first, me and the video were not friends at all.  Then I enjoyed the silly dance moves at the clubs.  Sweet Dreams is my new present fave.  The video is not so great and the cheap editing effects are actually quite embarassing.  But the song is great and if I still went clubbing, I'd totally dance to it.

Check out the Sweet Dreams vid...

Beyonce - Sweet Dreams HQ
Uploaded by DanaScully2212. - See the latest featured music videos.

What hit songs were you cold on, but now starting to like?

Sometimes I play the fool

I returned from a week in BC on Wednesday and I've had less than 5 hours sleep for probably 9 out of the last 10 days.

It's with this in mind that I share my 3 foolish moments within the last 24 hours.  Some much more embarassing and shameful than others.

Foolish Time #1:

I wrote the following text to a sibling last night.

"Running late and found raping closer.  I'll call you when done."

Can you guess what I actually meant to text?

Foolish Time #2:

I started this new class last night and had cheerios at 8am and this was now 5pm.  So obviously, I was a bit out of it and what not from hunger. 

A black male early 30s with a bit of pudge walked in late and sat down at the table next to me.  During the break, I was eating carrots in the hallway and people kept approaching me.  You know, cuz I'm so friendly and such.  In reality, they too were hungry and wanted some of my carrots.

Long story short, a black male early 30s with a bit of pudge walked by and looked frustrated and said 'Hi' to me.  I offered him a carrot and he's like, 'Nah, I'm too stressed to eat.'  And I said, 'Yah, it doesn't help that you came in late.'  And he goes 'I was about 15 minutes early' and then gave me the look of 'But thank you stupid white man for not being able to tell me and the other black guy in the class apart.  Racist bastard.' 

Foolish Time #3:

I had to attend a network meeting today with many people that I haven't seen in months, some much longer.  This one person was there and I know that their staff team has had a lot of maternity leaves lately.  So I said, 'how's your team holding up?'  To which she responded, 'Well we are gearing up for Hull shortly.  Then hopefully the world's.'  I just smiled and nodded.  We've never said more than a few words.  I thought she was a nurse, now she's some freakin Olympian, but I didn't want to be the fool who didn't know this.

I blame being sleep deprived for all this stupid-ness happening.  That and as I get older, my brain just isn't working the same.

Please share your more foolish recent moments to make me feel better.