The Partner Itch

Ever get that itch and you know that you shouldn't scratch it.  Cuz once you do, it just makes it itch so much worse.  Or leads to you crying in the corner over another failed relationship. ;)

Whoa, now that was a big jump.  But follow along down this path with me...

It's been about 15 months since I've been in a long term relationship.  Even longer, if you count that relationship as being over a few months prior to when we actually ended it.   A lot less if you count us ending things and then not officially parting ways until this last February (lol...did you follow all that?)

I keep convincing myself that I have no need for a partner.  They take up too much time.  You're constantly disappointed by them.  You're forced to hang out with their lame friends.  They get sick or someone they know get sick or their life is so depressing that you can't break up w/ them in fear that they'll kill themselves.

But then there's time after you've had a successful day and you want to come home, get naked with a lover and celebrate such accomplishment.  Sometimes, you just want to turn over in bed and find your lover lying there naked with a peaceful smile on their face.  Or when you want to do something random and your lover is an eager accomplice.

Plus, I really miss the arguments.  It's no fun to argue with anybody else, there's no stakes.  A customer presents a conflict.  Who cares!  Your Mama yells at you.  She can't ground you any more.  A friend gets upset with you.  When does that even happen?  But a fight with a lover is filled with passion and tears and fantastic make up sex.  I miss that.  Plus, I miss wondering if this person will be the one that I share the rest of my life with.  I miss having someone that knows me far deeper than the many layers that I put up. 

But I don't miss feeling like I give it my all and they only give it a try.  I don't miss looking deep in their eyes and realizing that this isn't right.  Finally, I don't miss the feeling of waking up beside somebody and that 'feeling' being gone.  You can't explain it to them, other than 'I just don't love you any more.'

The Partner Itch is a tempting one.  For now, I'll let it sit and fester. 

The Ex...

What do you call someone that you had a long term relationship with, ended things and now you're good friends?

I tend to default to calling him, 'the ex.' But I feel that term has such negative connotations about it.

You know, you're hanging with your friends, somebody walks passed and you kinda half wave at them and then hiss. Your friends are surprised at your immature behaviour and ask 'who was that?' You sneer back, 'the ex.' And everybody just gives the understanding nod. ;)

How often do we see on television ex's that get along, support each other, etc?? Not that often from what I recall.

This last week, I was able to support my ex through a difficult situation, hug him, cuddle nap with him, and it was all platonic. I had fears that it would segue into something that we'd both regret, but it never did. It was just 2 friends being there for one another.

It let me know that we are officially done, done, done and that there's no going back to what we were before. He's in a serious relationship with somebody new and that has to be okay with me.

But I need a term for him. I don't like the ex, as previously explained. I don't like 'good friend', as it doesn't spell out the bond that we have with one another. 'Friend who used to be my lover' is accurate, but a bit long.

What would you call this person?

Welcome to unrealistic land!

I don't know about you, but sometimes I like to live in a place called 'unrealistic land.' This is where all my dreams and fantasies easily come alive. Each week, I'll present another edition of unrealistic land. In this week's edition, you meet my unrealistic new lover, Patrick!

Patrick and I have been chatting now for about a week. He lives in Montreal, I's in Toronto. Soon, he's moving to Vancouver, but that merely adds to our excitement. You see, I have a busy schedule and he has a busy schedule, so we're perfectly happy to never have to see each other. We would cam to keep communication above msn levels, but I'm concerned that his voice will turn me off. Instead, I'd rather keep up the unrealistic level of awesome-ness that I've set for him.

All's I know is that he's an almost lawyer, likes to run and is willing to do yoga with me. He has expensive tastes, but is willing to reel them in. As I'm a simple kinda guy and not big on materialistic means.

We had our first slight argument over future lodgings. As I'm a house guy and always will be. He wants a condo right downtown. Us being as perfect as we are, we settled it swiftly. He'll purchase the condo right downtown and I'll get us the country hideaway up North. This way, he's happy and I'm happier. After all, our country hideaway will be super cheap and this leaves me with extra funds in savings.

Although, we will happily be leaving in unrealistic land for the many months to come, it'll all comes to a bust in July. You see, he has realistic plans to move to Toronto then.

Thus far, that is all that my unrealistic lover and I have journey-ed through. It's been a mere few days, but unrealistically, I think we're meant for each other.

What's going on in your unrealistic land?