Hey Roman. Rape = Jail!

(The following is an open letter to Roman Polanski.)

Dear Roman,

First off, I apologize if you think that I should refer to as Mr. Polanski.  But I save such respect for those that deserve it.  As I think of you as scum, I will refer to you as Roman.  Not even Ro, as that would mean that we were on good enough terms to get to nickname status.  I won't even call you Supreme Douche as I refer to you in private.  Let's keep it cordial at Roman.  You may refer to me as, Awesome.

I have been reading in the news about your recent detainment.  It must be hard for you.  You probably thought the only place that you weren't safe was the US.  Surprise!  After all these years, they finally caught you.

I recall the Hollywood uproar a few short years ago, when you couldn't pick up your Oscar in person.  What a pity.  But you know, that was your choice.  You could've come home, picked up your Oscar and then been rightfully detained.

You see Roman, *coughs* Supreme Douche *coughs, the math is pretty simple.  When you have sex with a 13 year old girl that makes you a pedofile.   Pedofiles go to jail in the US and many other places around the world with appropriate child protection laws.

You seem to think that being an artist means that you're above the law.  That's dumb.  You were smart and disappeared out of the spotlight.  I guess Michael Jackson could've learned a lesson from you.  Disappear, do a few projects here and there, and you can get away with it.  But you see there's a vast difference between you and MJ.  MJ never admitted guilt.  Nor was he probably ever dickin' those boys.

Only someone who is truly corrupt would admit guilt and then run off like a scared little boy who got caught with his pants down.  I fear that because you got away with it once that you have continued your sexual escapades with children.  Yet, you probably learned from your previous mistakes and have found better ways to get away with it.

I think you should fly to the US, face your sentence (let's face it, it'll be minimal), and then move on with your life.  I'll even reduce your secret name to Minor Douche, if you do.

Sincerely,
Jay

I need a little trust, before I let you rape me...

Call me old fashion, but I like to know a person before I do anything sexual with them. There's no thrilling sensation in meeting a stranger, fucking them bareback and then going off to the next one. In fact, the only sensation is a burning one and that requires a quick visit to the kind nurse at the Hassle Free to get rid of it.

So my craigslist posting of the week belongs to this one.



I just don't get it. If you want to get raped, then go to prison. Or dress up like a girl and hit up a frat party on a Sat. nite. Or if you want to get 'safe raped' or aka fucked hard and nasty by your mate, then find one, gain some trust, and then go at it.

I'm tempted to write this person and discover why they feel the need to be degraded, but that's personal choice and I'm all for it. I guess my concern is the type of people that one attracts with such an ad.

My first complaint is the gun. I can do role play, but I don't believe in the use of hand guns, and certainly not as a fantasy. Guns are a reality, but they scare me. Perhaps a dildo shaped gun with a longggg pistol, but that's it. :P

My second complaint is the lack of recruiting 'nice guys that just like to pretend.' I feel it's important to send out to the universe exactly what you want. If you're not specific, you end up with a replication of your ex, but just with a better job, and then you're still unhappy. Oh my, that was a tangent.

Back on track with complaint #3, what's the feasibility of being able to arrange with a total stranger a kidnapping off the street without attracting public attention? I can work out an arrangement with you sneaking into my backyard, that's fine. But for a realistic kidnapping, people need to hear screams for help and see me knocking you unconscious. This should result in 911 calls for all around us. If it doesn't, then I've failed and I won't be in the mood to now rape-fuck you.

Finally, complaint #4, I sincerely doubt that this is the guy's picture in the posting. In fact, he mentions nothing about his age, stats, etc. He could be simply doing what I occasionally do, which is write fake postings for the mere fascination to see who responds. :)

All in all friends, I encourage the use of creativity in the bedroom. Nothing is more dry than humping your lover in your bed 2-3 times a day for years on end. One needs to take advantage of the shower, the balcony, the chairs, counter tops, floors, elevators, closets, etc. Never shy away from a sexual request by your partner, cuz it just means that they'll be thinking about that fantasy while you're enjoying the reality of another lame fuck.

Play safe, play often, play nice!