Tonight, I had dinner with two of my favourite university friends. We have a tradition that started about 3 years ago, where we get together at the start and the end of each semester. It's a time to catch up on the previous 2-3 months, vent about school, laugh about life, and enjoy one another's company.
We started talking about relationships and Itsy Bitsy (nickname for one) blurted out that she had only ever been with her current partner. They met in high school and almost 2 decades later, they were still together. Me being me, I just couldn't fathom the possibility of sleeping with only one person for your whole life.
"How do you know it's good sex? Do you think of others? Have you had a threesome? Does he look at porn? Would it bother you? Do you have really crazy sex to keep things exciting over all these years? If so, does involve midgets, s&m, a sling...there must be at least a sling." - These were my rapid fire questions that just came flying out and in a very much teasing way.
Uppity (nickname for the other) could certainly understand my questioning. Uppity had spent many years with a husband that didn't fulfill her at all. After numerous years, she finally recently ended it and is now in a great relationship. She found it in a place that she never knew that she would...with another woman. She believes now that all those years of suffering led her to this great relationship.
Driving home from dinner, I had a moment of 'Whoa.' Just think if I found the one back in high school and hadn't spent this last decade moving from relationship to relationship, dating here, whore-ing this month, etc. Even once I'm in a relationship, I wonder if they are the one or if I should start again. I date for longer than I should in the hopes that they'd turn out better. I hate myself for being casual for awhile and not really enjoying any of it.
All of a sudden, I started to think that Itsy Bitsy had it easy and I was envious of what she had. She's genuinely happy. She's found her soul mate and her eyes light up talking about him. She has 2 beautiful kids. She's got her house. She's able to focus on fitness, work, and school without the distraction of 'Is this what I really want in a partner?'
What'd you think? Would your life be easier if you found 'the one' many years ago? Do you enjoy the constant search for 'the one'? Have you given up on finding 'the one'?
1 comment:
LOL funny, my friend and i have been discussing about "the one" but in a very different context. by "the one" we mean "the one that you can never get over with"...because it seems that every adult who's had relationships always have "the one"...
but to answer the question you posited above, i don't know if i believe in "the one" (in your context) because it's a very heteronormative idea...why have "one" when u can have plenty :P
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