"Good Until Further Notice"

In my pursuit of entertaining my own random thoughts, I would like to write about relationships today and why we just fucking get ourselves into it, when we all know that it has an expiration date, a "good until further notice" end? It might be because, to borrow Freud's term, it gives us a sort of "oceanic feeling"...but does it really? Do relationships really bring us happiness, or do they bring us problems, more than what we had to begin with? I would like to argue that it is the latter that happens, rather than the former. I am going to prove this by adopting some points in Laura Kipnis' book Against Love: A Polemic.

The one thing that struck me about this book is when she says, "falling in love means committing to commitment [itself]" (p.57). This essentially means that we're not only committing ourselves to the other person(s) but also, we need to commit on a number of emotional baggage, which is harder (as most of you would know) than it seems. Committing to commitment means that we are also constantly anxious about the possible end of the relationship and the fear of pain and suffering that will eventually follow that end. "Good until further notice" is the dictum of every relationship (at least for us post-modernists who think that "'till death do us part"
is now part of an archaic past): that it always has an inevitable end, which is either planned or unplanned; but essentially, we all have a claim to a right to exit when the relationship no longer works for us. Therefore, why do have to go through this whole committing to someone and committing to commitment phase if we know in the back of our minds that it will eventually end anyways? Can't we just have fun sans the commitment part? On that note, maybe I'll just stick to Spam since it's good until the end of the world...I could always eat it anytime I want. I'm Filipino afterall :P (if you're wondering what's the connection between Spam and being Filipino, see: SPAM and Fast-food "Glocalization" in the Philippines by Ty Matejowsky...or just ask one of your Filipino friends LOL!)

500 days of summer is brill!

If you've met me, you may think that I'm a bit insensitive, slightly cold hearted and generally a bit of a non-believer in all things lovey dovey.

It's with that in mind that I highly recommend 500 Days of Summer. A film recently released that stars Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt as a (non) couple. We track them from Joseph's view of the 500 days from the time that they meet, date, and well...SPOILER...break up. Not much of a spoiler considering within the first 10 seconds you read something to the effect of, "This is a work of fiction, it has nothing to do with anybody. Especially you Summer. You bitch."

Either way, this cute little film tracks heartbreak in an non-chronological and creative way through a variety of film styles, genres, and realistically real moments (or as real as something can be on film).

Zooey does her usual cute girlfriend role that she's getting known for and Joseph is the perfect candidate for the boy who loves too hard.

For someone who's had some serious loves and has now been out of love for over a year, I thought it was extremely cute and fun. It's not sappy and that's what is important. Plus, the ending can be interpreted as happy, but I chose not to.

For me, it had a very "before sunrise" feel to it, as it just allows you to be a part of the film without throwing it all at you. Plus, it was well edited and time moves quickly between past and present.

I have only seen a few movies recently (Terminator, Bruno, The Hangover) and this was a perfect mix for what will probably be one of the last films that I see this summer.

I would not quite rate this film as a date movie, but if you do go with your partner, it'll certainly generate some post-movie discussion.

Once more, with feeling!

"People will forget what you said or what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

I came across this quote just now on twitter and it really struck me as the truth.

When I think about the times that I have been in love, I could never describe the reasons why. It was simply a strong feeling that I had towards that person.

When dealing with those who are negative, often times you forget what it was about them that caused that feeling, but you just can't shake it.

Have you ever encountered someone and just felt naturally happy in their presence? Or completely turned off?

Maybe it's getting back on track w/ yoga that's causing me to be more reflective or 2 days in a row seeing the ex's. ;) Or that I haven't felt love in a year and really want that feeling back.

What'd you think? Are you in tune with your feelings? Got a quote that you'd like to share?

Vulnerable...

I'm not sure if it's from d/l-ing all 8 of Tracy Chapman's albums or the mark of year 1 tomorrow, but I'm feeling slightly vulnerable. Or as vulnerable as someone like me is capable of getting. ;)

I was at my 'rents and found a book of what I thought were lost words and it reminded of what's occurred over the last little while.

Tracy Chapman writes beautiful words about love and lost. Why not reminisce a little about those that I've liked/loved and subsequently lost (nope, they didn't die...).

JD - You were the first. I'll remember the bumps on your genitalia (non-disease, just a part of anatomy :P). I still recall the confusion when I went away and returned no longer interested.

EP - Young love. If only you would've taken it to the next level. Oh what would've been. You're my only proof that I once had a drunken party side. ;)

JT - So intense, most intense emotional start up that I've ever felt. Sadly, it's true...something so passionate at first will quickly fizzle out and end poorly.

MW - My mista, Mr. Big that is...haha to double entendres. Found my b-day box today for a trip never taken. Bday cards from the past make me smile. I want 'that' feeling back.

MS - One day, I'll say sorry enough times. Not sure if I have yet. They say the third time's the charm, but neither of our hearts could handle it.

JN - We were exactly what both of us needed at the time. Your being and the memories of your stories makes me still laugh out loud.

Who do you think about on those days when you're missing being/feeling loved?

I love sweatshirts!

I don't know about you, but one of my fav. pieces of clothing is a sweatshirt. When sick, it's my favourite comfort clothing. When cold, it keeps me warm.

For me, the sweatshirt must be at least one size too big and must be in hoodie form. If the sleeves don't allow me to fully engulf my hands, then it's no good whatsoever.

Another important aspect of wearing a sweatshirt is that it must be worn with nothing underneath it. A t-shirt just gets in the way of the cotton!

I'm self aware enough to know that this is most definitely one of my most pointless posts. :)

The question is what's your favourity type of clothing to wear?

Love your body, then torture it!

Last week, I gave you the chance to express your love for the different parts of your body. 18 of you indulged in the ego trip and I thank you for that!

44% of you really really like your hands. I have to ask 'huh?' - what is about your hands? I must not have very nice hands, cuz nobody's ever really focused on them. My bro laughs at my skinny fingers, but that's about it. I once knew a girl who had dwarf hands, her pinky was the size of my 2nd toe. Though, I do have finger toes...those creep people out.

Speaking of feet, only one person really likes their feet for 5% of the vote. Which is understandable, I know so many people who hate their feet. I don't really have a problem with feet. I hate socks, so I say let your freak feet fly.

The 2nd highest total in vanity land was the face, 33% of you think your whole face is your best feature. Which I think is important, if you don't like your face...then it's hard to get through the day. Unless your partial to scarves or hoodies to try and hide it. Or just good at make-up. Haha...I've recently discovered that boys are using foundation to hide their blemishes...oh silly boys and their drive towards perfection.

11% of you were into your nose, lips, legs, ass, genitalia, and arms. I like a little nose, like a cute little button. I don't notice lips all that much, unless a girl is wearing a really strong colour. Legs, I can definitely appreciate. Chicken legs are cute and fun to laugh at...but a little meat is nice. Ass, work that ass...yah, I can def. appreciate the ass. Genitalia is always an interesting one. Cuz like you don't see what someone looks like unless they post a pic or you get naked with them. So it's always one of those mysteries and even then...if it's dark...you may not see it so well. Nice biceps are key and triceps that don't flap in the wind. :)

Our other 2nd top total with 33% are the eyes. Ppl really notice my eyes, I don't notice others' eyes. Well I notice them, if I can't see them. Cuz I'm all about the eyes being a window into the soul.

Alritey now that we've loved our bodies, how do you torture yours?? By torture, I mean what fast food junk do you allow into it? Why do I ask? Yesterday, I went to visit my grandma and pre-hospital trip, I had Wendy's (chicken go wrap with fries and iced tea) and then post-trip, I had swiss chalet (quarter chicken white w/ salad and iced tea). By the time, I got home my face felt like all the oil wanted to just burst out of it. Soooooooo in the last month, where have you dined in the effort to destroy your body? :)

Vote on the poll on the right!!!

How does one move on?

Okay so say you're madly in love with somebody and there's this place called Proposal Rock. So you take your special lady or male friend there, cuz you wanna sweep them off their feet. *contains giggles*

You get the ring together, you ask their parents for their blessing, you tell your friends, and you're all set for this momentous occasion.

Now what happens, if things don't go quite as planned. What would you do if things took a turn for the worse?

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/081205/world/proposal_death

Well things went terribly wrong for this guy's proposal. He went from down on one knee to turning away from a huge wave (coward!) and then turning back to find his girl literally swept off into the sea. The body has still not been located. Her family is obviously devastated.

Can you imagine seeing this in a movie, you'd be on the floor howling. Beautiful sunset, 2 ppl in love, and then bam! The waves come crashing in, the girl is gone, and the guy is left on his own.

But this is reality and I'm curious as to how this guy moves on. We've all got our baggage, but wouldn't you be scared shitless to propose again? Would you risk falling in love? Do you stay single for a lifetime in the hopes that one day your lover will return? After all, this one could've been taken ashore to some island, nursed back to health, and then spend many a years journeying back to this guy.

I guess the real question is after your fairy tale is over, how does one move on?