Do you like to self medicate?

No? Because I do.

At the first sign of a cough, a sneeze, a hot head, achy bones, an untimely erection or a slight dizzy spell, I head strait to Shoppers Drug Mart. Why? Because I'm a consumer. I love Shoppers. It's like the Wal-Mart for really, really, vain people. I can walk in and walk out with $100 worth of crap I don't really need, but I will use it all and pretend like it does what it's supposed to do.

Most recently though, I realized that I was starting to get a runny nose. Than I got an itch in my throat, and not from a bunch of spermies that may have gotten stuck after my mid-afternoon snack, but rather it was the tickle of an oncoming bacterial infection, designed to stop any and all cock-sucking habits (because let's face it, since NPH and I, Kaila W. Montanna, split, its all I can do to stop from popping fourteen Valium's and saying goodbye to this God forsaken world). And so with a sick sort of excitement, I went to Shoppers, stocked up on COLD-fX, Neo-Citron, Ricola lozenges and Robitussin! (Also known as my Winter Party Mix)

Tomorrow, I will go out to school prepared to battle the bacteria in my body. I will be amped with a super-immune system, reinforced by a questionable new pill, several Halls-Vitmain C tablets and lots and lots of orange juice!

So, what do you guys do at the first sign of a cold, or a flu, or a nympho episode?