Sunday, October 11, 2009

No more self inflicted spam!!!


How many e-mails do you get a day???  5, 10, 15, 300?  How many of those are spam?  Better yet, how many of that spam did you self inflict?

Did you sign up for a contest, register for a site, or even click that stupid 'click here for future promotional information' button at the end of an online purchase.

I KNOW I DID!!!

Then I realized, what's been inflicted can always be relieved.  It's all through the magic of the UNSUBSCRIBE button.  My spam is now at about 10% of the e-mails that I receive daily instead of the previous 30-50%. 

Sure, I no longer know about the latest sales at Apple, Future Shop, Chapter's, etc.  But I pretty much delete most of those each time without reading them.

Look at the end of each piece of SPAM that you receive and see if you can remove it permanently.  You can thank me after you've done this for the hundreds of e-mails that you no longer have to delete.  With all that spare time, you can now spend more time searching for porn.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Partner Itch


Ever get that itch and you know that you shouldn't scratch it.  Cuz once you do, it just makes it itch so much worse.  Or leads to you crying in the corner over another failed relationship. ;)

Whoa, now that was a big jump.  But follow along down this path with me...

It's been about 15 months since I've been in a long term relationship.  Even longer, if you count that relationship as being over a few months prior to when we actually ended it.   A lot less if you count us ending things and then not officially parting ways until this last February (lol...did you follow all that?)

I keep convincing myself that I have no need for a partner.  They take up too much time.  You're constantly disappointed by them.  You're forced to hang out with their lame friends.  They get sick or someone they know get sick or their life is so depressing that you can't break up w/ them in fear that they'll kill themselves.

But then there's time after you've had a successful day and you want to come home, get naked with a lover and celebrate such accomplishment.  Sometimes, you just want to turn over in bed and find your lover lying there naked with a peaceful smile on their face.  Or when you want to do something random and your lover is an eager accomplice.

Plus, I really miss the arguments.  It's no fun to argue with anybody else, there's no stakes.  A customer presents a conflict.  Who cares!  Your Mama yells at you.  She can't ground you any more.  A friend gets upset with you.  When does that even happen?  But a fight with a lover is filled with passion and tears and fantastic make up sex.  I miss that.  Plus, I miss wondering if this person will be the one that I share the rest of my life with.  I miss having someone that knows me far deeper than the many layers that I put up. 

But I don't miss feeling like I give it my all and they only give it a try.  I don't miss looking deep in their eyes and realizing that this isn't right.  Finally, I don't miss the feeling of waking up beside somebody and that 'feeling' being gone.  You can't explain it to them, other than 'I just don't love you any more.'

The Partner Itch is a tempting one.  For now, I'll let it sit and fester. 

Rock'n'Rolling...

I’ll admit, when I first read Tom Stoppard’s Rock’n’Roll I did not understand it. And when I speak of my lack of understanding, I don’t mean, “What happened?” I know what happens in this play, I can comprehend the basic plot points throughout the story—but what I did not grasp was the underlying spirit of the show.

I tend to lean towards the belief that within each play, there is at least one, if not a few lines that can summarize the basic idea of the play.
In The Canadian Stage Company’s production of Rock’n’Roll, directed by Donna Feore, the cancer-ridden intellecturess Eleanor, played brilliantly by Fiona Reid, explains to her student:

“Eros is amachanon, he’s spirit as opposed to machinery, Sappho is making the distinction. He’s not naughty, he’s—what? Uncontrollable, Uncageable.”

Set during the democratic revolution of Soviet Russia, the revolutionary and uncageable spirit is what lies at the heart of this show. As a 22-year-old suburbanite, I failed to grasp at the meat and instead fiddled only with the skin when faced with just the text. But as the lights went down and Patrick Kwok-Choon sang the first few magical lines of Syd Barrett’s “Golden Hair” as the illusory God Pan/Piper, I was immediately swept up and into Stoppard’s monolithic love song to an entire generation of believers—believers of ideas that manifested themselves into a world of action.

Shaun Smyth plays Jan, a rock’n’roll junkie whose political faith lies in the calloused, guitar string-flicking hands of the revolutionary rock group “The Plastic People of the Universe.” Referenced throughout the play, along with an entire soundtrack of American 60’s rock that introduces each successive scene, the music is a clear emotional, generational and theatrical anchor, which grounds the play within a specific context.

The play travels back and forth between Cambridge and Prague from 1968 till 1990. At a house in Cambridge, Max (played by Kenneth Welsh) and Eleanor Morrow live with their daughter Esme (Alex Paxton-Beeseley). In a small apartment in Prague, Jan lives with his vinyl records. Between these four, a variety of other characters surface and resurface, which include Lenka, Eleanor’s former student and Max’s future lover after Eleanor’s passing, and Ferdinand, Jan’s best friend and soft political advocate.
Reid shines as Eleanor in the first act. She remains the most interesting thing to watch on stage, especially during her sugary-sweet threat against an overly flirtatious Lenka and her gripping desperation for Max’s “grieving soul” when she passes. Reid also nails the older Esme (Paxton and Reid are double cast; Paxton later plays Alice, Esme’s future daughter), a former hippie who tries to keep her former vibrating energy contained, but fails always at the most comedic of times.

Smyth unfortunately seems to have trouble playing young Jan, as he comes off as an awkward but well-rehearsed series of movements and lines. His hair is distracting and he doesn't look like as if he is "grounded" within his body whatsoever. He does however redeem himself in the second act as an older Jan, losing the disheveled long hair and trading it in for a respectable jacket and shirt. I think the main problem was Smyth’s overzealous attempt to catch the sporadic vibrant energy of a rock’n’roll youth.

The set, designed by Michael Gianfrancesco is also worthy of note. The walls of both main sets are wallpapered images. The Cambridge house is divided neatly between an entire wall of green foliage on the right, and a series of floor to ceiling book-spines on the left. Jan’s apartment is covered in rows upon rows of vinyl record cases. These metaphorical designs speak volumes about the ideas that translate through the text and characters. In the opening of both acts one and two, Esme the hippie appears on her back, legs up on the seat of the patio chair, smoking amongst the foliage. Max the communist intellect on the other hand always enters from the left. There seems to be an ongoing debate between reason and passion, and this is echoed through Lenka towards the end of the play:

Lenka You think human nature is a beast which must be put in a cage. But it’s the cage that makes the animal bad.

Max The cage is reason.

In the end, this play is about something more than just music and politics. It’s about the conviction of beliefs and the passion that drives these characters to fight, to love, and to move on. This play is also a bold comment on the narcissism and apathy of my generation—as the general consensus from my peers was a non-committal post-show shrug. If only one day we can be spurred on enough to give a damn, we might be able to save ourselves from the imminent loss of our own human spirit.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I have genuine affection Stephen Harper

I have genuine affection for Stephen Harper.

Don't get me wrong now. Ideologically, I hate him. I hate even more now that I like him. Well, maybe not like, but begrudgingly respect.

Until now, I haven't thought he's done a single right or good thing since taking office.....seems to me that his ego, barely concealed right-wing politics, and blatant disregard for the Canadian people have done nothing but harm to the country. He seems to have no soul or no genuine emotion; hell, even Mulroney ('member him?) seemed to care every now and then. Stephen Harper looks and acts dead inside. Looking into his eyes as he sits for awkwardly-staged photo ops or delivers a life-less speech is like looking into the eyes of a salmon on ice at the supermarket.


Until now. When I heard that he performed a Beatles tune with Yo-Yo Ma at the National Arts Centre, I cringed. The same man who proudly proclaims that Canadians don't care about the arts (which presumably include things like music, piano lessons, and Yo-Yo freaking Ma)? Eff him.

And then I watched the video.

It's totally cute. Genuine. Humble. Sweet, even. For the first time ever, I'm not afraid or angry watching this man, and he brings a smile to my face. I even believe maybe he does get high with his friends. He keeps a decent sense of rhythm and pitch, and I hope that the other leaders follow suit. I want to hear Gilles Duceppe's take on "Hymne de l'amour" and Layton scat through "Orange-Colored Sky" and Ignatieff sing, well, anything as long as he fixes those dr. seuss-like eyebrows of his.

Playful Stephen Harper. Never thought I'd see the day.....and while he still doesn't have my vote, he def. has a little piece of my heart. UGH.





Monday, October 5, 2009

The LSAT Experience...


Soooooooooooooo, I turned to the dark side.  I took an institutionalized standardized academic test and I'm letting you all know about it.

I don't think I've ever taken a standardized test.  My Mom is firmly against the gifted program and so I didn't take it in gr. 3.  She doesn't feel that people are gifted, they just think differently.  My sis got to take it and she was apparently on the path for gifted-ness, but then Mama shut 'er down.  I came along and she wanted no part in it.  My bro apparently took some iq tests as he was SPED in school and it demonstrated that he's super smart.  Nothing for me though.  I guess I'm just possibly dumb Jay. ;)

Back in June, I went on a date with a lawyer.  It didn't work out passed date 3, but it did get me thinking about law school.  Growing up, I was going to be the lawyer, then I discovered how much school it took and decided that it wasn't for me.  Fast forward 10 years and I've already done 3 full time years and 3 part time years to gain a diploma and almost a degree.  What's another 3 years?  Plus, I just spent a week out West (oh another blog posting to come...) checking out campuses and it seems like fun.  Yes, 3 years of law school seems like fun to me. :P

Sadly to get into law school, you gotta pass this silly standardized LSAT.  It tests logical thinking, but asks nothing about lawyer-ing stuff.  I'd rather do that, but I guess you do that after law school at the bar exam.

Either way, I kinda studied for it and I doubt that I did very well.  Doing it for real is way different than doing it in your trunks shirtless casually laid out on your futon, while timing down the minutes using your oven timer. 

In reality, you're in a room with 200 people, in jeans and sweating like crazy in your hoodie.  The guy beside you is tapping his pencil, the gal behind you is kickin her leg passed your head and every few seconds, somebody leaves the space to go to the washroom.  Which makes you think, well shit, I need to piss too.  But I can't piss.  If I piss, I lose time.  There's only 35 min. per section. Can't piss, must focus. But I'm not focusing, I'm thinking about pissing.  Focus, focus, focus.  90 min. later you get a break and you run to the washroom.

The actual test ain't so bad, joys of standardized is that you can study, but not really study for it.  You have an idea of what they're looking for.  But if you don't study the stuff that you get wrong all the time, you're liable to make the same mistakes.

Post LSAT and not feeling comfortable, I've already dropped a grand on a Kaplan prep course.  The initial diagnostic score was super sad.  I'm only 30% smarter than others.  I need to be 80% smarter or more to get into the ol' law schools.  The class should be fun, I like knowledge and such.  Plus the online component is sweet and I love online stuff. :)  Plus, I'm kinda crushing on the instructor.  He's geek cute, not cute cute.  But if I get extra attention, it'll be worth it. :)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I hated these songs, but now I like 'em

I'm usually on top of the mainstream hits, but lately it's taken me awhile to warm to three of the following hits.

Mariah's momentum from 2 albums ago does not flow into this one.  She's doing an album a year lately and it just ain't working for her.  Plus, she's taking advice from Nick Cannon and he's about as musically inclined as Lindsay Lohan.  It took a few months, but I'm enjoying Obsessed.  It's a Touch My Body knock off and I've yet to hear an Obsessed remix that matches any of the great club one's release for Touch My Body.  Off the new album, I'll take Obsessed, Standing O, and Up Out My Face.

Check the Obsessed vid...


I've heard Taylor Swift songs for the last little while and have not liked a single one.  My staff was playing You Belong To Me throughout the summer and I still disliked it.  A few weeks ago, it came on the radio and now I play it on my ipod at least once a day.  There's something about country songs that I really enjoy.  You couldn't sing the same lyrics in a pop/rock song and have it come off as not sounding 100% hokey.  '

"And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?"

I could sing that part over and over all night long.  Yes, I am a 14 year old girl trapped in a 27 year old's body. :P

Check the You Belong To Me vid...


Finally, I love to hate on Beyonce.  She really needs to take a break and just disappear and come back in 3 years and then I'll be like 'Hooray, she's returned.'  When I first downloaded her album, I don't recall liking a single song off of it.  Single Ladies was only enjoyable after a few viewings of the video.  At first, me and the video were not friends at all.  Then I enjoyed the silly dance moves at the clubs.  Sweet Dreams is my new present fave.  The video is not so great and the cheap editing effects are actually quite embarassing.  But the song is great and if I still went clubbing, I'd totally dance to it.

Check out the Sweet Dreams vid...


What hit songs were you cold on, but now starting to like?

Friday, October 2, 2009

Sometimes I play the fool


I returned from a week in BC on Wednesday and I've had less than 5 hours sleep for probably 9 out of the last 10 days.

It's with this in mind that I share my 3 foolish moments within the last 24 hours.  Some much more embarassing and shameful than others.

Foolish Time #1:

I wrote the following text to a sibling last night.

"Running late and found raping closer.  I'll call you when done."

Can you guess what I actually meant to text?

Foolish Time #2:

I started this new class last night and had cheerios at 8am and this was now 5pm.  So obviously, I was a bit out of it and what not from hunger. 

A black male early 30s with a bit of pudge walked in late and sat down at the table next to me.  During the break, I was eating carrots in the hallway and people kept approaching me.  You know, cuz I'm so friendly and such.  In reality, they too were hungry and wanted some of my carrots.

Long story short, a black male early 30s with a bit of pudge walked by and looked frustrated and said 'Hi' to me.  I offered him a carrot and he's like, 'Nah, I'm too stressed to eat.'  And I said, 'Yah, it doesn't help that you came in late.'  And he goes 'I was about 15 minutes early' and then gave me the look of 'But thank you stupid white man for not being able to tell me and the other black guy in the class apart.  Racist bastard.' 

Foolish Time #3:

I had to attend a network meeting today with many people that I haven't seen in months, some much longer.  This one person was there and I know that their staff team has had a lot of maternity leaves lately.  So I said, 'how's your team holding up?'  To which she responded, 'Well we are gearing up for Hull shortly.  Then hopefully the world's.'  I just smiled and nodded.  We've never said more than a few words.  I thought she was a nurse, now she's some freakin Olympian, but I didn't want to be the fool who didn't know this.

I blame being sleep deprived for all this stupid-ness happening.  That and as I get older, my brain just isn't working the same.

Please share your more foolish recent moments to make me feel better.