You are not straight - fag!

As the midget to my right says, 'Liar, liar, pants on fire!'

Someone please explain to me the influx of straight guys parading around the queer community as of late. It's annoying enough that fellow queers are breaking the 'one hag per fag' rules at the clubs more and more, but now we've got to deal w/ the hetero men.

But wait...these aren't the hetero guys that come to 'check' out the scene in support of their homo buddies. You know, the one's that grind way too close with their girlfriends all night to ward off anybody from potentially thinking they might be straight.

I'm talking about the fags that call themselves straight, whilst taking it up the bum, down their throat, with one in each hand at the same time.

Three separate occurrences pushed me to post about this (new) phenomenon:

Case #1: An online buddy recently informed me that he's been sucking off a straight guy lately. To which, I said, "he ain't str8..." Now this is your typical confused homo. You see this one goes over to my bud's place, gets all romantic and sweet, and the sex begins. They swap oral, the str8 lad begs to get fucked, and when it's all over, he freaks out and runs off. I've no time for such ppl!

Case #2: A good friend of mine was chatting up some dude online for quite a few months. He kept suggesting they meet up, the guy kept being elusive. Friend finally confronts and is like 'dude, give me your #.' Dude reveals that he can't. You see, he has a girlfriend and is worried about her finding out. Annoying much???

Case #3: Alritey, so I met this guy through a friend a few months ago at an event. Guy claims to be 'straight' - I have my doubts!!! Guy starts gay clubbin it up and then in drunken-ness is okay with making out with whomever. Now what's interesting is that said guy now has profiles on gay sites and actually contacted one of my buds. Haha...so you see, this lad's no longer quite so straight. :P

So what do you think it is??? Why can't these homos just accept their new status? Or why not just go with saying 'I'm bisexual' or just 'I'm queer.' Queer to me is a pretty loose term. You can do whatever you please and be queer. In my world, if you're straight, you only mate with opposite sex.

Is that too narrow of a definition for the heteros?